TTC is H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

Before I launch in to a long (and hopefully not boring) blog post about acupuncture, I should probably fess up:

I started doing acupuncture to improve my fertility.

I mean, technically she’s treating my migraines by treating my hormonal imbalance, but honestly, I was hoping it would get me pregnant faster.

Somehow, TTC turned in to a competition.  A race to see who could get impregnated faster.  It was especially painful when she beat me.  And told me in public.  At a restaurant.  By pulling the pee stick out of her purse (seriously, ladies, if you peed on it, don’t hand it to someone else over lunch).

I’m not proud of my response to all that.  What sane person turns trying to have a child in to a competition?  That being said, I felt terrible when she miscarried.  Like somehow my bad feelings made it happen.  She hasn’t started trying again, while I’m still desperately hoping that this month will be the month.

Anyways, the running really came as a way to escape, even for half an hour, from feeling like a failure.  What 25 year old can’t get pregnant?  I know that sounds dramatic, but when you have a 70 day cycle that requires progesterone pills to end, one starts to feel like things are a little hopeless.

Anyone else out there in blog land struggling?  The hardest thing about infertility is watching everyone else get pregnant and feeling completely alone.


About Sarah S @RunningOnWords

Married 20-something in flux and trying to cope by running and occasionally crafting.
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5 Responses to TTC is H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

  1. michellemgd says:

    You are so not alone. In March, we will have been trying for 2 years and it is horrible. My best friend is already talking about trying for their second and her first is only 1.5 years old! I have so many worries and thoughts and I have a hard time processing them all. I hope acupuncture does the trick!

  2. natalie says:

    Infertility is one of my biggest fears. But so is having a kid, so it is a mega contradiction in my head. Keep me posted if it helps.

    P.S. That is what I meant… I don’t think I was clear.

  3. I am right there with you. I am not currently trying to get pregnant but we will have to use fertility stuff to help. Good luck, you are absolutely amazing!

  4. I’m so sorry you’re struggling! I pray this month is the month for you 🙂

  5. Pingback: 7 Links (Does this make anyone else think of sausage?) | Running On Words

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