There’s sperm shoes for goodness’ sake (picture heavy post ahead!)

I have a secret to confess…

I absolutely love SkyMall.  It is my favorite part of flying and I flip through it with reckless abandon as soon as I sit down in my seat.

When I saw the floating sunglasses, I just knew this was gonna be a great trip! Sidenote: don't most sunglasses float? Why would I want them to float away, anyways?

The problem with SkyMall is that it always leads to more questions than answers:

Question #1: What the hell is going on here? You people do realize that my dog will slit my throat if I put her in a "pink rugby thundershirt"?

Question #2: For the love of all that is good and holy, who designed the logo in the middle of the shoe? Do people really not know what that looks like?

Question #3: This is really the device that will permanently attach me to the Matrix, isn't it?

Question #4: Who has a human skull they need to display in a frame (upper right corner)? More importantly, where did it come from?

Question #5: Can I use this as a light saber?

Question #6: You guys know pure oxygen is toxic right? And oxygen creates oxidants.

Question #7: Does this really have wide spread appeal? How about a money back guarantee? For the record, we might have actually bought this if the bar wasn't within the month.

Question #8: What. The. Hell.?

Question #9: Can you really vacuum a pool? Why had I not realized this was a thing? And why are there so many types of pool vacuum?

Question #10: Can someone please explain this to me? Why would I want a leprosy ridden armadillo holding my beer?

Question #11: Why doesn't Keri L already own this? Also, will this keep the dang kids off of my lawn?

Question #12: What should I do if we have obviously incompatible Zodiac signs? Also, which Zodiac are we using?

Question #13: Would putting this on random peoples' cars make me a total creeper? Is this even legal?

Question #14: What is the active ingredient and will it also kill me?

Question #15: Is it called baby because it will give me the skin of a baby's butt or because it's small? That's an important distinction.

I always go through the 5 stages of grief when reading Skymall.  Seriously.

Plane to Columbus is boarding now!  I’ll be back with a brief recap of the weekend in the next day or so!

What’s your favorite part of traveling?  Do you love Skymall?

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About Sarah S @RunningOnWords

Married 20-something in flux and trying to cope by running and occasionally crafting.
This entry was posted in Gear. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to There’s sperm shoes for goodness’ sake (picture heavy post ahead!)

  1. Kara says:

    I adore sky mall. My life will be complete when I one day see someone actually using one of those lap pillow wedges on a plane.

    My college had an oxygen bar. That’s probably why my friends were so dumb.

    My dog needs a thunder shirt. We swaddle her with a blanket during thunderstorms, like she’s a baby. 🙂

  2. Sarah says:

    OMG…..that stuff is crazy. Though I can say there are LOTS of vacuums for pools and the one that goes by itself at the bottom of that page is a pain in the butt. I life guarded and always had to dive down and flip it back over….stupid things!

  3. Omg this post made me laugh so hard!

    I am def gonna buy the zombie garden statue.

    I love skymall so much it hurts.

  4. Emily says:

    I think question#8 can be applied to all of the above. I clearly don’t fly enough. Why have I never been introduced to this amazingness!? The armadillo is my favorite. I have an armadillo story for you. I’ll explain later.

  5. Katy says:

    I love Skymall!

    And yes, you do vacuum a pool, and even more, there are a whole BUNCH of different types. 🙂 It’s how you clean pools. We used to have one, and as only child (at the time) I was the one ‘blessed’ with that job.

  6. Michael says:

    These are flippin’ hilarious!! I love Sky Mall too, I always wonder – who really orders this stuff? I am totally getting the zombie for my yard. Now that’s a classic. It would make a nice Halloween decoration. Now, about the shoes – you know how fast those things are right…seems like a perfect design for the shoe!

  7. Kim (Book Worm Runs) says:

    LOVE it!!! Lol!! Gotta love Sky Mall! 🙂

  8. themadbohemian says:

    Hilarious! I can feel out state getting funnier as you descend from the sky!

  9. Sara says:

    HAHAHAHA! Thanks for a good laugh on Monday morning.

    For the record – no OTC bed bug treatments are effective against the bugs. I can’t say whether or not it will kill the person!

  10. Mandy says:

    Love it!!! LOL! I too also read the Sky Mall magazine whenever I fly. I’m always telling Mark (both seriously and not) – OOOOHHH – we NEED this! LOL.

  11. i’m dying over here. i’ve missed your blog so much!!! sky mall is seriously ridiculous.

  12. Kat says:

    omg I love Sky Mall too!!!! It’s worth a flight lol

  13. pawsitivelife says:

    This post is as addicting as watching those infomercial on late nite tv. I am not going to lie..I would probably buy a few things from that magazine

  14. Laurie says:

    I LOVE SKYMALL! My husband and I laugh so hard we cry at it. Skymall makes flying suck less.

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