Crazy pregnant lady babble

I have a secret that probably isn’t very secret.
I am not enjoying my pregnancy.  At all.
I woke up Sunday feeling like I had swallowed a handful of nails.  Monday I was gasping for air so hard in my sleep that it kept waking me up (my throat was massively swollen).  Today I woke up with a migraine.  I pretty obviously have a sinus infection that is somehow related to whatever bug was residing in my lungs on Friday and Saturday.  The problem is, I’m pregnant and no one can tell me what I can actually do about it.
I love(d?) my doctor, but the nurse I’ve been dealing with from her office is an asshole.  The woman told me to take class C drugs for my illness and diagnosed me with a sinus infection over the phone (that seems inappropriate to me) and told me to call my PCP for antibiotics.  And she couldn’t actually tell me which combination of drugs to look for, just “Tylenol Cold and Flu” (which comes in multiple combinations last I checked).  Umm, last I checked the OB handles all that stuff during pregnancy, but maybe I’m wrong?  Also, if you got off your lazy butt and read my chart, you’d know I’m not supposed to take antibiotics unless absolutely necessary.  And I just finished a round of them.
Then this morning I got in another argument with the nurse over my blood pressure.  Yes, I do have diastolic pre-hypertension (please observe the pre part of that statement).  In the morning’s my BP is higher, but at night I get readings like 118/87.  The drugs the doctor mentioned to treat hypertension are all pregnancy class C (show birth defects in animals or have not been studied in animals) and have all given me hypotension in the past.  The nurse also tried to tell me (incorrectly) how blood pressure medication works.  Not to sound like a dick, but I’m finishing a PhD in Cardiovascular Physiology.  I know when you are wrong and I checked with a cardiologist at work (I work in a hospital) just to make sure.
And maybe some of it is denial.  I guess I feel like having blood pressure problems makes me a failure somehow.  Because if I weren’t pregnant, that would be a lifestyle issue and the doctor kept trying to tell me I must have had problems before (I didn’t and I have medical records to prove it).  I feel like hypertension says something about me as a person and my imagined failing to take care of my body.  Which really isn’t how gestational hypertension works.  And I certainly wouldn’t think that about other people, so why am I beating myself up over it?
So here’s the question I’m wrestling with.  Do I get a new doctor?  I do not feel comfortable with the nurse and her “advice,” but I’ve been through almost all the offices (at least one of them is only covered for gynecology and not obstetrics) on my current insurance.  I want to feel like I’m working with my medical provider rather than spending stupid amounts of time on the phone with some nurse that is going to get sued sooner than later for her advice.  And I want a physician who is listening to me, which I probably would have if I wasn’t stuck talking to Nurse Ratchet.  Because even if the gestational hypertension is real, she’s still a nasty wench giving really unsafe advice and being intensely pushy about medication she can’t even legally prescribe.
And my next appointment isn’t for another two weeks.  I have concerns about the quality of care now, which means two weeks is an awfully long time to be upset.  And even if the doctor acknowledges the issues with the nurse, I doubt anything will be done.
Needless to say, with all this anxiety and worry how can I possibly focus on the fun things?  I spend a lot of time worrying about what might be going wrong (between the uterus thing and the BP thing, that’s not unrealistic).  I’m just not sure how to plan for a baby that I’m not sure will make it.
I probably need to stop getting on the high-risk pregnancy board.  Yes, I am very high risk, especially considering my risk factors for preeclampsia and pre-term labor, but these groups just freak me out.  Maybe it’s better to go in to some things blind?  My husband is now convinced that I’m not going to live through labor and delivery (maybe I should have skipped explaining eclampsia).  And actually, in thinking about it, maybe I will need to switch to the high-risk practice, which might not be such a bad thing for my sanity.
Anyways, I ordered a new BP cuff (mine spits out errors like crazy) that has specifically been studied in pregnancy and gestational hypertension.  We’ll see what it says and then hopefully I can have a real, intelligent conversation with my physician in two weeks.  And if I can’t, then maybe it is time to move on.
So, no, I am not able to enjoy my pregnancy.  There’s too damn much wrong with me for me to relax and wonder in the “life growing inside me” and all that.  I am so thankful for this baby, but I spend all my time worrying that something else is going to go wrong and that the baby won’t make it.  This is not normal or healthy.  A little worry, sure, but this constant all the time fear, not so much.
So, tell me the truth, am I just being hormonal?  Were you a nervous pregnant lady (if you have been pregnant)?  Did it ever get easier?
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About Sarah S @RunningOnWords

Married 20-something in flux and trying to cope by running and occasionally crafting.
This entry was posted in Medical, Pregnancy. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Crazy pregnant lady babble

  1. Alyssa says:

    Ahhhh I’m so sorry to hear you are so stressed! It must be so overwhelming. If your doctor is adding to your stress level that much, even indirectly (through the other employees) I would say switch! It’s not worth it. I hope things improve!

    • Grace says:

      I agree with Alyssa. It’s stressful enough being pregnant that your medical care shouldn’t be adding to that. Especially if you are high risk, you need a competent team. I loved my nurse practitioner (I didn’t really ever see my doctor because they are always so busy) so a good experience is possible!

  2. Kara says:

    Even if you are being hormonal, you need to feel calm, so if a new doctor’s office is needed, so be it. If you hate the nurse, then you need a new office. You’ll hate dealing with her for months.

    I’m sorry pregnancy is being so rough on you!

  3. Army Amy says:

    Sounds stressful! If the nurse makes you feel bad, even if she doesn’t do anything wrong (which it sounds like she has), then you shouldn’t stay with her. If the only way to avoid the evil nurse is to switch doctors, it might be worth it.

    I’ve never been preggo, but I’d imagine that it’s normal to stress, worry, fret, whathaveyou. Hang in there!*

  4. I am just amazed that she would tell you that you need antibiotics without being seen. My PCP’s office says “no calls in for antibiotics – you MUST be seen” all over their exam rooms. She’s clueless. I agree with Kara that you should change doctors if the nurse is making you this upset. Months of dealing with her will make your life hell. Hang in there!

  5. Amy says:

    Big Hugs, Sarah! I was a nervous pregnant lady and it was not fun. I totally understand where you are coming from, although I loved my doc/office. I hated people who told me to “relax and enjoy it” because it’s really hard to relax when you are not confident of the future. I got so nervous before my appts., that my blood pressure would be sky high there, but better at home. I had to keep track of my bp daily..there is actually equipment that sends the info right to the docs office. I’d say go to the high risk doc and interview the heck out of him/her. You know I’m here for you and I’ve had some similar issues. Anytime!!! Love ya!

  6. Elle says:

    Might I ask why you are discussing your meds and care with a nurse when you are there to see the doctor?

    Perhaps THAT is something you may want to discuss with the doctor.

    If that situation is not rectified, I would be find another doc if I were able.

  7. aprilvak says:

    You’ve got to find out if our doctor even knows this is going on. We had a HUGE problem with one of Abby’s ENT’s staff and as soon as he found out what she was doing he put a stop to it. And if she’s telling enough other patients this crap, she better be sure her malpractice premiums are paid.

  8. I may have told you all of this before but here we go. I switched because of a nurse, I thought she was rude and insensitive. I was high risk and was seen by Dr. Colombo at OSU. LOVED him. Begged him to keep me after but he only sees maternal patients. Said to me over and over “you let me worry, you grow babies”. First visit, handed me a card with his cell and home numbers on it. That spoke volumes to not to have to go through a nurse. I didn’t have any issues with BP, but I was nervous. I miscarried *right* before the boys’ pregnancy. I was sure it would happen again. I forever thought I was bleeding or they weren’t moving. I started every ultrasound with a “are they moving”. Pregnancy is not to be enjoyed…..not for me anyway. In fact, its one of the biggest obstacles from having more children. My neighbor has 8 kids, my only response was “you were pregnant 8 times….oh my”.

    Hang in there. maybe call another OB for a consult?

  9. TriGirl says:

    It seems like you would be better off with a high risk OB. I know you were happy when you switched to this doctor but her nurse is a reflection of her practise. While I think that she may not know what the phone conversations sound like, her nurse should be charting and would have to say if she prescribed antibiotics. Plus, if you’re high risk you’d probably do better with an office that is used to your needs and can address them appropriately.

  10. Stephanie says:

    I agree with everything being said above. You will have to deal with this nurse for the rest of your pregnancy-if you don’t trust her now, it will only get worse.

    And for the love of god, stay off the pregnancy forums. At the risk of sounding like a jerk, if you are doing your PhD in a medical field, you already have more knowledge than 75%of the women on those boards. Mass hysteria abounds on pregnancy forums.

  11. Your nurse sounds like a giant jackweed. Since when did they become doctors that can prescribe things and diagnose you? I think Kara’s right, you might need a new doc or maybe you could talk to your doc about the nurse.

  12. I read this yesterday and didn’t have anything to add because I’ve never been pregnant. But I came back because you commented on my blog and it reminded me that I DID want to say- GOOD GRIEF. I HATE THAT NURSE. I’m no sorry this isn’t going smoothly for you and hoping you get things straightened out soon. It’s such a pain to go to a new doctor or switch things up, but maybe that’s the way to go.

  13. Seeing as I have never been pregnant…but that nurse blows…

  14. Sam says:

    boo dumb nurse!!! i’m glad you are smart and know your stuff…

    i hate switching doctors/dentists/etc., but i think that may be your best bet.

    keep us posted!

  15. Mandy says:

    Being pregnant is stressful enough, idiot nurses shouldn’t add to it. As you know, I fired my first doctor because of her nurse. The high risk OB might be a better option.

    Since you like the doctor, it MIGHT be worth it to talk to her about your problems with her nurse. But, honestly, during pregnancy you spend a lot of time dealing with the OB’s nurse…if she is that awful, might not be worth staying with that practice.

    No matter what you do – you have my support. HUGS.

  16. I can’t give you any advice, Sarah, but I am thinking about you truly! I would be terrified if I had a baby and while I think some fear is normal, I don’t want to see you upset ALL of the time. I also know I can’t say that because I am not in your situation, and I don’t know how you feel. Just know I am worried about you and hoping the best for you and the little one!

    I can say that idiot nurses and doctors DO Make things a lot more stressful than they need to be – pregnant or not!!

  17. I’ve been pregnant twice and didn’t really “enjoy” either one. First one was completely normal and perfect. Second one, whoops, high risk. I was being monitored for potentially having toxioplasmosis. I actually had two doctors throughout that pregnancy…my normal OB and then my high risk doc. I’m kinda surprised they haven’t sent you to a specialist since you are having issues. Maybe it is time to seek out another opinion.

    And try to relax. It’s easy to freak out during pregnancy but reading all those horror story boards will only make your life harder. Delete them from your bookmarks!!!

  18. Terzah says:

    I was a very hormonal nervous pregnant lady, especially when I found out I had two in there. I don’t know how my husband lived with me (thank God he did!). I would definitely consider a high-risk doc. I had one (even though my only “problem” was the twin pregnancy) and it was very reassuring. I hope you feel better very soon!

  19. Abby says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time, but hormones or not, it does sound like that nurse needs a stern talking-to.

  20. lakshmistar says:

    i know this is a little bit ago (i’ve been hibernating or something), so i really hope you are feeling better now!

    while i’m not high risk, the stress of living in a country where i don’t speak the language and having to deal with nurses who don’t speak english and just an entirely different system in general is so difficult, it can add a lot of stress to my pregnancy too. for me, it’s been really important to find an image or words or something (a mantra of sorts) that i can have faith in or that can calm me down – either an image you might have of yourself and the baby in future, or something that cheered you when you were a kid… maybe that sounds too hippie-dippie to you (i don’t know you that well, but i’m often accused of that… 😉 ), but it really does help. because, ultimately, you don’t have control over a lot of things and you just have to do your best and then let what will be, be.

    i’m sorry if that’s not helpful at all, but for me, it is. and yes, i agree. that nurse needs to realize her mistakes because you seem very knowledgeable, but she could really hurt someone else or someone else’s baby if she isn’t stopped!

    anyway, again, i hope that you have found your calm and been able to enjoy it a bit more!

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