We need a pet llama.
I heard on the radio that there have been coyotes sighted in the northern suburbs (where we are moving) and that they’ve been on a small pet eating spree because they are mating. I have two small dogs, so I see this as a problem. As often as I threaten to feed Delilah to a coyote, I wouldn’t actually be happy if that happened. And those little effers jump fences, so it is a somewhat legit concern.
Somewhat, because I am a little nutty and tend to fixate on unlikely, but remotely possible disasters. Don’t judge.
Anyways, my original thought was that I needed a nice small lady-like rifle, but my husband the buzzkill pointed out that I’d have to keep the ammo too far from the rifle to be able to use it on a coyote. Also, I’d be counting on firing into the air and scaring it away. And I’m not breaking up a coyote trying to eat Delilah fight with my fists and a butcher knife (I think we own one. I should look in the kitchen sometime and see what’s there). I also figured I wouldn’t be able to scare one off with my awesome human-ness since they snatch dogs off leashes.
Moving on, I made husband Google dealing with coyotes with me and we learned something important. Lllamas are the natural enemy of coyotes. Yes, that’s correct, llamas. No, I don’t know how that happened. I think they might be from different climates? And, if we get a llama we can reenact Napoleon Dynamite (I actually hated that movie) and make sweaters out of its hair.
The scary part is that I had my husband half convinced that this was a great plan. He said we’d have to do an alpaca, though because they are smaller.
My marriage is awesome.
I’ll be back on Monday. I need the weekend to recover from the awesomeness that was my 3 hour glucose test. Spoiler alert: they missed my vein twice (and dug around) during the second of four draws. My arms hurt and I’ve never come that close to passing out in my life. Also, I should stop watching when people stick me.
If you could keep any pet, what would it be? And don’t try to just copy me and say capybara. It’s been done.