And I’m not referring to poop (sorry, Emily). Although, I could write a second dissertation on baby poop if I really wanted to. Lucky for you, I don’t find her poop interesting. Just stinky.
Anyways, a lot of people have been asking if/when can we have another child. Or telling us we better not even consider it. Or warning me that only children are evil.
Super helpful people, seriously, I love your unsolicited advice on having more kids. Actually, all of the unsolicited parenting advice makes me feel stabby, but I suppose that’s not the point (I could write an entire post on this, but I haven’t figured out how to not risk offending people).
The one person (besides my husband) who has a relevant opinion is my OB (who I guess is now technically my gynecologist). She says we shouldn’t decide not to have a second baby out of fear, but another pregnancy could go either way. The good news is pre-eclampsia is most common in first time pregnancies and is usually less severe and occurs later if it comes back in future pregnancies. So if I did have it again, chances of me staying pregnant a lot longer are good. My mother thinks I won’t get it again since I won’t be finishing a dissertation at the same time, which may actually be a good point.
The bad news is that I need to be prepared to be on bedrest for a long stretch of time if I get pregnant again. I kind of failed at bedrest last time because I needed to be able to feed myself and deal with the dogs. Next time I’d either ask for hospital bedrest or ask my mother-in-law to come much sooner, especially since I’d have to worry about taking care of Charlotte at the same time. I suspect I’d be on bedrest the second my blood pressure rose if I have another child. Which is superb considering my blood pressure seems to be extremely sensitive to pain, stress, and doctors’ offices.
I realize that I haven’t actually said if I want another child. The fact is, I do. My husband is not committing either way right now (I think he’s still traumatized), however we did talk about trying again before I’m 30 (increased maternal age raises the pre-e risk). As much as I want another kid “someday”, today is not that day. If I was pregnant right now, I would not be secretly happy about it. I would be completely terrified because my body has barely started to recover from being put through the whole pregnancy/pre-e/NICU ordeal.
I’d also like to lose a lot more weight so that my joints hurt less and because it’s better for me and the baby. And pay this one off (medical bils SUCK). And I want this baby
housebroken potty trained before we have another one. Also, more sleep.
If I’m being really honest for a second, I’d really like to experience a normal pregnancy. I know I will always need extra visits with a high risk OB due to my uterus and previous history of pre-e, but I want to get mega huge and have my baby in my hospital room with me. I will require another c-section, but at least I’d have a chance to know what false labor feels like (or real labor if we schedule my c-section too late). I want my baby to come home at the end of my hospital stay instead of feeling like I’ve been cheated out of those first six weeks. But that’s not the only reason I want a second baby (it better not be considering it might not even go that way). I want Charlotte to have a sibling. I feel like there’s room for another baby in our lives.
I also recognize we may not ever be able to conceive again. I’m trying to come to terms with that before we seriously discuss trying for another baby because I don’t want to let infertility and trying to conceive consume my life so dramatically like it did last time. I’m hoping the fact that we have a wonderful baby already means I would more easily find some peace in the whole process.
Meanwhile, I suspect C doesn’t actually want a sibling. She keeps punching me in the thyroid. I think she’s hoping if she can take that sucker out that I won’t have another baby.