Thoughts on #2

And I’m not referring to poop (sorry, Emily).  Although, I could write a second dissertation on baby poop if I really wanted to.  Lucky for you, I don’t find her poop interesting.  Just stinky.

It still blows my mind how much money we have spent on stuff for her to crap in.

Anyways, a lot of people have been asking if/when can we have another child.  Or telling us we better not even consider it.  Or warning me that only children are evil.

Super helpful people, seriously, I love your unsolicited advice on having more kids.  Actually, all of the unsolicited parenting advice makes me feel stabby, but I suppose that’s not the point (I could write an entire post on this, but I haven’t figured out how to not risk offending people).

The one person (besides my husband) who has a relevant opinion is my OB (who I guess is now technically my gynecologist).  She says we shouldn’t decide not to have a second baby out of fear, but another pregnancy could go either way.  The good news is pre-eclampsia is most common in first time pregnancies and is usually less severe and occurs later if it comes back in future pregnancies.  So if I did have it again, chances of me staying pregnant a lot longer are good.  My mother thinks I won’t get it again since I won’t be finishing a dissertation at the same time, which may actually be a good point.

The bad news is that I need to be prepared to be on bedrest for a long stretch of time if I get pregnant again.  I kind of failed at bedrest last time because I needed to be able to feed myself and deal with the dogs.  Next time I’d either ask for hospital bedrest or ask my mother-in-law to come much sooner, especially since I’d have to worry about taking care of Charlotte at the same time.  I suspect I’d be on bedrest the second my blood pressure rose if I have another child.  Which is superb considering my blood pressure seems to be extremely sensitive to pain, stress, and doctors’ offices.

I realize that I haven’t actually said if I want another child.  The fact is, I do.  My husband is not committing either way right now (I think he’s still traumatized), however we did talk about trying again before I’m 30 (increased maternal age raises the pre-e risk).  As much as I want another kid “someday”, today is not that day.  If I was pregnant right now, I would not be secretly happy about it.  I would be completely terrified because my body has barely started to recover from being put through the whole pregnancy/pre-e/NICU ordeal.

I’d also like to lose a lot more weight so that my joints hurt less and because it’s better for me and the baby.  And pay this one off (medical bils SUCK).  And I want this baby housebroken potty trained before we have another one.  Also, more sleep.

If I’m being really honest for a second, I’d really like to experience a normal pregnancy.  I know I will always need extra visits with a high risk OB due to my uterus and previous history of pre-e, but I want to get mega huge and have my baby in my hospital room with me.  I will require another c-section, but at least I’d have a chance to know what false labor feels like (or real labor if we schedule my c-section too late).  I want my baby to come home at the end of my hospital stay instead of feeling like I’ve been cheated out of those first six weeks.  But that’s not the only reason I want a second baby (it better not be considering it might not even go that way).  I want Charlotte to have a sibling.  I feel like there’s room for another baby in our lives.

I also recognize we may not ever be able to conceive again.  I’m trying to come to terms with that before we seriously discuss trying for another baby because I don’t want to let infertility and trying to conceive consume my life so dramatically like it did last time.  I’m hoping the fact that we have a wonderful baby already means I would more easily find some peace in the whole process.

Whatever mom, I’ll always be Grandpa’s favorite.

Meanwhile, I suspect C doesn’t actually want a sibling.  She keeps punching me in the thyroid.  I think she’s hoping if she can take that sucker out that I won’t have another baby.

I guess she likes being the center of the dogs’ universe.  And Rufus put himself there.  He laid down in front of her and just let her kick him.  Masochist dog.

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About Sarah S @RunningOnWords

Married 20-something in flux and trying to cope by running and occasionally crafting.
This entry was posted in Leapster, Marriage, NICU, Preemie, Pregnancy, Septate Uterus. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Thoughts on #2

  1. Army Amy says:

    Charlotte is so cute! Seriously, I’m “awww”-ing at every single picture. Adorable! To have another, to not have another, when to attempt to have another, all good questions. I suspect that once Charlotte is a little older, you’ll both feel strongly one way or the other. She’s still so young and all consuming, that it’s probably hard to imagine all that another baby would entail.*

  2. Oh man, dog and baby are so cute! I think Bungee would freaking love it if we have a baby. Tiny children are the only people she’s not afraid of.

  3. Terzah says:

    Your dog is awesome! Charlotte may think the dogs are her siblings. I wish my kids had dog siblings.

    Thanks for laying this out there. I have to say I can’t believe people are actually giving you unsolicited advice on such a personal topic. Whatever you decide will be the right thing for your family. Siblings are fantastic, it’s true, but the best person I ever knew (my grandma) was an only child. It just made her more social and more interested in others.

  4. emily says:

    No talk of poop?! I’m so disappointed!

    How old is she now? she’s so tiny! I can’t believe you’re already thinking of having another. It feels like you just had her (to me, an outsider who doesn’t wake up to feed her or change her diaper. I know, big difference). Unsolicited advice is annoying. People have started giving it to me regarding my dog. Not quite the same, but annoying anyway.

  5. Kate says:

    I know you’ll do whatever is best for your family. That’s one thing I’m sure of. The rest will come as it comes. I hate that we as a culture feel like we are entitled to give unsolicited advice about everything to anyone and everyone but it seems like the parenting/pregnancy advice is the most offensive because it’s such a personal subject. I try (and admittedly fail) to never, ever do it because I hate when people do that to me. Thank you for confronting this subject (even if you believe it’s too early to be trying to get pregnant again) – it was bound to come up! I’ll admit I hadn’t even thought about you having another baby yet but I assumed you would be making that choice at some point.

  6. I suspect immediate bedrest for me as well if the blood pressure goes up in future pregnacies.

    I love Charlotte in her cloth diapers! She is such a cutie! I seceretly hope Isaac and Charlotte can meet someday! 😀

    I agree that in time you will be able to answer the question on weather or not you’ll have a second one or not. We are still tramitized too but deep down I think I want another eventually.

  7. Kara says:

    Peanut also really liked being kicked by Faith when she was little. Now? Not so much.

    I wouldn’t worry too much about having another when your first is just so little. When she gets older and has a set routine (and sleeps through the night) then it seems more manageable to imagine a second. Then you get pregnant and have recurring nightmares about what you’ve done…I mean, it’s magical.

  8. Mandy says:

    It is way too early to be debating this topic. WAY.

  9. I can’t believe people were giving you that stupid “advice”! How rude!

  10. Laura says:

    These are tough decisions. Personally, going through it the second time around is somewhat easier, because there is that “well at least we have one” sentiment, and we’re more distracted and busy with her. But it’s still hard and emotionally draining at times. Like Mandy said, I’d try to push it out of your mind (as much as possible) for a year or so and then come back to it. Btw, she is too precious. I love the giant cloth diapers on infants!

  11. Pingback: I’d like to request a ceasefire. | Running On Words

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