I’m really not sure why we as a species need so damn many teeth.

Charlotte has been teething forever and there’s still no sign of anything breaking through.  We know she’s teething, because she’s chewing on everything.  It’s sort of like having a pet beaver.

Seriously, she tried to eat her patent leather shoe during occupational therapy.  I finally swapped it out for Sophie the too-expensive-to-actually-let-your-child-play-with-it Giraffe.  Sophie comes everywhere with us these days, but Charlotte is screwed if she loses it because mommy is too cheap to buy another $20 giraffe (lie, I will totally give in because it is often the only way to make her happy when we are out).

My mom’s secretary gave her a doll, but so far all she’s really done with it is chew on its face.  Also, she’s giving the camera an obscene gesture.  So proud.

Anyways, even while teething I’m pretty sure my baby is incredibly easy.  At least that’s what I’ve been told.  She still sleeps through the night and usually naps decently, but she reaches a point of cranky misery in the late afternoon.  Sometimes I give her a dose of ibuprofen, but I hate giving my infant a lot of medication (she needs to save her liver for college).  Someone suggested Hyland’s Teething Tablets, but supplements aren’t regulated by the FDA, so I feel a little uncomfortable going down that road with my tiny baby.  Has anyone out there tried an amber teething necklace?  I’m just trying to convince her to stop gnawing on mommy’s chin.  Oh hey, she just stuck the cat’s tail in her mouth.

Must. Eat. Daddy.

Teething is far less disgusting now that her nose has stopped running (think about it, you’ll figure it out), but it does occasionally make her vomit.  Considering all the vomiting I was doing this time last year, though, it doesn’t seem so bad.  Still, my child has mastered vomiting on the item of clothing that will cause me the most inconvenience.  For example, she nailed my jacket as we arrived at the llama farm last weekend.  Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got a ton of picture of you in the bathtub to show your high school boyfriend.  We’ll be even then.

I do believe this picture would be excellent somewhere near the front door.

Anyways, we’ve also reached the point where Charlotte wants to play sitting up, but she eventually topples over like a drunk.  It’s nice because she can somewhat entertain herself as long as I sit next to her to keep her from going headfirst into something painful.  It’s hard to find the right toys for her right, so you can imagine my excitement when I saw this on sale:

Oh hey, a light up, singing mirror.  Charlotte loves laughing at that weirdo baby in the mirror and she loves lights and (incredibly annoying) music, so this seemed perfect.  I am not in love with giving a baby a fake vanity with makeup toys on it, but it’s Fisher-Price, so clearly it would just be cute educational songs and a few toys she could chew on.

It’s hard being so very wrong all the time.

The stupid toy keeps telling her to put on her lipstick and powder before going out.  Considering the last time I wore makeup was 2011, I’m not sure this is the message I want to communicate to my child.  Luckily, she seems to be more interested in chewing on the lipstick toy (see aforementioned teething).

Apparently she needed to “put on [her] face” before bed.

I suppose I should just be honest and admit that I keep screaming at the magic mirror to quit judging me.  I might have to kick it in the teeth when Charlotte isn’t looking.


About Sarah S @RunningOnWords

Married 20-something in flux and trying to cope by running and occasionally crafting.
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6 Responses to Teefs

  1. Kara says:

    Have you tried a mesh feeder? I used to fill one up with frozen peas for Faith and it helped a ton. Also, wet a corner of a washcloth and then put it in the freezer, they like to gnaw on that.

    Don’t resist Motrin at night. It’s your friend. Tough it out during the day, but not at night.

  2. Terzah says:

    I’m a very bad mommy….I give out Motrin even when they have a cold (I think it eases the rough throat and they sleep better at night). But I was more sparing when they were infants. For teething, we were very big on ice rings–I think my kids used them until they were three (once they could talk they called them “the cold things”).

  3. April says:

    Second the cold washcloth. Teething is so horrible because you can’t DO anything but wait. Have you found her a dentist yet? It’s worth it to start looking early.

    The vanity reminds me of Abby’s steering wheel. It says ‘get out of the way!’ when she honks the horn. Who writes the lines for these toys?

  4. Army Amy says:

    Teeth already?! Oh my goodness! That just seems so grown up!*

  5. Laura @ Mommy Run Fast says:

    I hope you see those teeth soon! We thought L was teething around 4 months, but apparently she was just grumpy and liked to chew on things. Her first tooth popped in after she was a year old! SO glad you have a good sleeper… that was definitely the most stressful part of parenting for me in the first year.

  6. Mandy says:

    I put ice cubes in those mesh feeders, as you know.

    I’m still laughing at the mirror toy. Still. Laughing.

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