I hate everyone and other (not actually that) exciting news

I know, it’s rude to take a blog hiatus without announcing it, but I just needed a break.  It’s really hard to maintain a running blog when you aren’t allowed to run.  I’ve thought about changing the name of my blog to something more familycentric, but I love the name of my blog, so too bad (have I mentioned I lose about 3 subscribers every time I post a weekly pregnancy update?).  Anyways, here’s what I’ve been up to.

1.  Thanksgiving.  I’m a huge fan of any holiday that involves eating too much food that is terrible for me (seriously, one or two days a year is not going to kill anyone).  This year may have been the best feast I’ve ever seen/devoured.  My good friend Mandy invited us over when she heard we had nowhere to go and then proceeded to make more food than I knew how to eat.  And I’m pretty sure Paula Dean would have approved of the liberal use of butter.  There was creamed corn made of corn, cream cheese, sour cream, butter, and milk.  You bet I had seconds of that.

Also, I forget every year how much I love dark turkey meat smothered in gravy.  So I’m putting it here in print.  Don’t forget, self, that this is in fact your favorite part of the meal.

Our hosts were fantastic, the food was amazing, and I actually felt full for the first time in months.  I left loving Thanksgiving.

Then came the requisite family phone calls.  This was my first Thanksgiving that wasn’t spent with at least one of my parents.  I love our families, but people say the most interesting things on the phone and after 3+ hours on phone saying the same thing 8 times, I had trouble not losing my tiny ADHD mind.  The hands down best comment of the night was:

“don’t buy too much stuff for the baby since she might not live very long.  You only need enough for the first week or two.”  The person who told us this is 88 years old, so there’s no malice there, just outdated advice.

Followed by:

“You need to get in the kid’s head and figure out why it’s crying, maybe it’s the plastic thing in ladies pants.”  First person to figure out what this means gets a prize, because I do not understand.

“You’ve gotta make sure you only go through the diaper with the pin and not the baby’s skin.”  When my husband pointed out diapers are pinless now he was assured the skin can get stuck in anything (even velcro tabs on disposable diapers).

Old people.  Wow.  Luckily, after a huge fight with my sister (even 5 hours apart we manage to fight on every holiday) I found this all hilarious.  And I am totally resisting the urge to detail the whole argument, but blasting my sister on the internet isn’t cool, even if she’s asking for it.  But you bet that’s a big part of why I haven’t felt like posting.

Everyone also had very strong opinions when it came up that I’m staying home after the baby.  I found that a little frustrating, but I have a funny feeling this may be as controversial as vaccination.  And I’m totally blown away when SAHMs tell me I shouldn’t stay home.  What’s up with that?

Ugh, see what I mean?  I always feel like holidays put me in to such a tailspin.  Currently looming over our heads is the Christmas issue.  We aren’t making any plans until after I get my cervix measured on the 14th to make sure I’m not heading for early labor.  The hospital in my hometown is crap, so I’m not getting stuck there.

2.  Movies.  I saw 2 this weekend.  The Muppets was awesome and I want to have 10 million tadpoles with Kermit (that’s a lie, Pepe and Rizzo are actually my favorites).  We all loved it and I’m sure we’ll buy that on DVD (to go with my DVDs of the original Muppet Show).  The other movie I went to was Breaking Dawn, which was terrible.  Also, have you heard it causes seizures?  I had to close my eyes during one scene because it made me dizzy (Jacob running through the woods).  I think I’m due for my seizure screen, so maybe I should call the neurologist.  Anyways, I do not get what the big deal was about the birth scene.  They didn’t really show much of anything and there should have been WAY more blood on her nightgown.  Gotta love a movie where the main character tries to bully his wife in to an abortion followed by some pedophilia by the other male lead.

I loved it.  Don’t judge me.

3.  A Christmas Carol.  My Breaking Dawn date invited me to the local production of A Christmas Carol the next day.  It was decent, but I couldn’t believe how rude the audience was.  Some wench was taking flash pictures during the show.  And talking the whole time.  I strongly considered multiple threats, but lately I’ve felt like my rage is outta control, so I kept my mouth shut.  Seriously, though, between the play and Breaking Dawn, I saw horrified at how rude people are in a theater.  Put your damn phone away (someone’s actually rang loudly during the movie) and shut your gaping cakehole before I come back there.

Me and my date.

Pregnancy makes me extra ragey, but bad manners in a theater have always REALLY bothered me.  Movies and plays are not cheap and I didn’t pay to hear you repeat the lines.

4.  Cooking.  I have actually made 2 recipes off of my “CrockPot Cooking” board on Pinterest.  They all turned out well, but tonight’s was by far the best yet.  I’m actually getting excited to do this whole trophy wife thing and cook for my family.  I bet I take those words back in another year, especially once the Suzy Homemaker hormones wear off.

5.  Driving around in my pimpmobile mom car.  I love this car.

Not that I took it out shopping.  I’ve bought a ton of baby stuff over the last 4 days, but it was all online because I hate people.  Also, yay for sweet cyber sales!

6.  Real estate shopping.  We put an offer in on a short sale on Saturday.  It is the most spectacularly perfect house ever and I’m pretty sure it was decorated by two fabulous gay guys with incredible taste.  Now we wait and see if the evil empire (Chase) will approve our offer.  This could take, well, with short sales there is no guarantee that we’ll get an answer, but we have time to wait a bit, so we’ll see what happens.  But seriously, I want this house more than cake.  And you know how I feel about cake.

How was your weekend?  Anyone else lose their mind at rude theater goers?  Does your family make you nuts around the holidays?  Did you get any awesome bargains?